Christmas Day has now passed. Time to filter though the many presents and cards from those who are so much a part of our lives. Time to reflect on what the year presented to us. For most, I hope this year offered many challenges and far more rewards. For me many challenges yet few rewards. And for each reward it seems a a new challenge presented itself.
The news of my daughter will not make it to birth will be what I remember this Christmas of 2005. No job and no income, trying to keep the family happy and unaware of our situation. And the overwhelming kindness of Sister Barbara (My son’s teacher) the other sisters, more sisters, priests, friends, family, strangers, and hundreds of others who are praying for us and our family in this time of our need has made a permanent mark on my life and how I will continue in my life long journey.
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Well I had a second interview the following day. They brought someone in from a different company that helps them out for whatever reason. He stopped the interview and told me I sound like I should start my own business. That I obviously can take control and handle every situation. This was good to hear but I did not get the offer – overqualified.
So, in the meantime my savings are dwindling and the gas / electric bills are rising, not to mention cobra payments, and every other bill. I did manage to transfer a high % credit card to a nice low %. That will help for a bit and in the long run.
I find myself afraid to eat since I might be spending money on myself when I should save just incase it gets that bad for my family. I know it won’t (I believe) but…
I lost my thoughts besides I am just babbling.
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Occasionally in life it all adds up and you feel like you can do nothing more. After looking for a job since June, numerous resumes and zero callbacks, I think I may be reaching that point. I feel like I just waste my time sending these out since I get no reply. Nothing, not even thanks but no thanks. Over qualified, too young, no this no that, too much this or that. I am nearing an end, but in every end, there is a beginning.
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The time is passing far more quickly that I could have ever imagined. It is now November and I still cannot find a job. After sending about 60 resumes, several hits to my monster resume I still have ZERO calls. I must be stuck somewhere between too old to be a tech, and too young for anyone who does not know me, to be a Manager / Director. Time will tell, but time is running out.
Something I found is spirituality. Not in the religious sense but in a psychic sense. I have become an appreciated of a psychic. I have to admit, I thought she would take me aside and tell me how fake everything is. Quite the opposite, she taught me how to see things that I never knew existed, feel things that are all around us. Call me a bit crazy but I am beginning to believe more and more especially when I am doing a reading and I actually hear and see things that would make your hair fall out. The strangest thing is that when I tell people what I see it actually makes sense to them. No time left to type. It is always like this…
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It has been over a month now that I left BPP and WF. Feels good to be away from those people and the way they do business and especially the way they treat everyone. I know something is coming soon but I can’t help feeling frustrated. The money situation is fine – nothing to worry about there it’s just that feeling like I should be working. I did find a perfect position that I wanted to apply for even before I know there was an opening. It has nothing to do with computers, well at least I won’t have to fix any. It would be a perfect fit. I’ll just have to wait and see. Maybe I’ll get a call next week. I’m remaining positive.
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I just noticed I haven’t written here since I got the WF contract. All went well beside the fact they never would listen to me. After completing Phase I, I realized that I want nothing to do with the people who hired me nor would I want to work for WF. Too much to get into but I don’t understand how some people believe it is better to push people around to get results rather than working with those who are doing everything they can do get the job done. I hate getting into it because it bothers me. Writing about it will just make it grow more so I’m dropping it. Oh, I have to say one more thing. Because we basically hate each other they won’t be picking me up for Phase II. However, I have a plan that would save WF $400.000.00. It was the plan I came up with when I first started investigating the cut-over. So again, my initial intuition was correct. BTW, I was told to forget that plan back then. Not sure why but why would a company want to spend an extrat $200,000.00 let alone $400K?
So I’m looking again. Some possibilities out there but nothing seems to interest me. I wish I could retire. Not because I am lazy but it just seems…? Useless. Computers that is. They really don’t add to the Value of life. Sure you can do neat things like this or play games or lookup information. But when was the last time I really made a difference with a computer. Speaking of that I do have some ideas that would impact life for most everyone. These are inventions that are so far beyond my grasp that someone else will do it and get the credit.
I guess that’s all for now. My wrists hurt – flat keyboard. Let’s see if a door opens. I was told that my next job is where I will really be able to make a difference, really be noticed. Psychic told my wife that about me. So we will see – who knows?
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It’s been a while since I posted anything so here is an update. I accepted a contract position through a staffing agency. My function is to analyze a parent company then construct a “mirrored” network at a new company that is buying part of their business. There are 200 “branch offices” that are coming with the deal. It’s a big contract with a lot of money being moved around. Meetings with buyers and sellers, vendors and more. It’s exciting but I still miss my old place. This new contract will probably lead to a full time position however I still cannot trust those who hired me. I believe there is the possibility that I might be just tossed aside when the “curtain reveals the fact”. That may sound strange but those who contracted me need to be unseen for many reasons. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see.
I have some ideas for my old place and if all goes well returning to them might be in my best interest. I just need to see what happens in the next coming weeks or months.
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February 2nd and no real job offers yet. Had three interviews for jobs that I do not want. It’s a strange feeling but I realize how much that old place meant to me. I love that network I built each part of it. I can only describe it as Dr. Sung’s feelings toward Data. In a strange way I grew attached to wire, metal and plastic and it hurts now that we are separated. I still feel it and know the backups probably need attention but everything else is running perfectly. I know, I am a bit strange but it is the way I feel. I spent more time with that network than I did my family. Maybe this is for the best and I probably will find a new job with better pay and more respect. But I will never forget my first true love.
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